HW 58 - Prom Interviews

For these interviews I decided to interview 3 people. The first person I decided to interview was a 15 year old girl who is in 10th grade, a younger sister of a friend. I asked her questions such as; when you think about Prom what comes to mind? & What are your thoughts on prom. She stated that when she thinks about prom she thinks about fancy dresses and Limos. This was answer I was planning on receiving. After asking her; What are your thoughts on Prom? She quickly replied how excited she was for it. She already had a potential date even though her Prom was 2 years away. She was already looking at dresses which would be the best for her Prom. She was planning in 2 years advance. 

The second Interview I conducted was one of my male friend who was 19 years old who attended his Prom last year. I asked him questions such as; How was your Prom, & if you could would you change anything about it? He replied that his prom was just “Alright” His Prom did not live up to the hype that he expected. He later answered the following question and stated that he would change most of it. The most interesting answer to me was; “If i had to change anything it would be to not be so excited about Prom”

The final Interview I conducted was with my mother who is 38 years old. I asked her similar questions to the questions I asked in the first two interviews. He main theory about prom was that it was a mandatory event. It was a passage into a adult hood. She also stated that it was something that she would never forget. Her prom was more of the 80’s movie type like “teen wolf” minus the wolf. Her date picked her up from her apartment and had to get approval from father as well as sharing slow dances with her prom.

The great thing about these three interviews were that they were not all the same and everyone actually had different theories and experiences. This helped me come to the conclusion that Prom is not the same for everyone. Also that Prom is a unexpected event. No matter how long and how much you prepare for Prom, prom is something that  will never be predictable.

HW 57 - Initial Thoughts on Prom

  Everyone has a rites of passage and the one for most teenagers is; prom. Sooner then you can believe is the day young teens begin thinking about prom. What is Prom? Prom is a a highly anticipated, formal event were you can be the star for the night and anything is possible. This event sounds great, why wouldn't people be thinking about this event for years and remember for years to come.

Even though prom only takes place for a couple of hours, the preparation for this event takes more then you can imagine. Prom is a day that everyone wants to be a perfecta and a day that no one wants to forget. This is a good reasoning why preparation is so significant. The night includes flashy clothes, flashy cars/limos, tons of pictures. yes prom is a highly prepared event, its a event where unexpected things happen.

Prom night is the night you never want to forget but the truth is there is a percentage  of people who wish they could forget it or even remember it. Prom night consist of after party which more then likely includes alcohol and drugs. It’s as if a celebrity syndrome kicks in, teenagers want to spend an immense amount of money and some of this money is spent on alcohol and drugs. The amount of alcohol and drugs that are consumed are usually more then the customary. No parents, no rules, means no holding back.

Questions:

Where did the idea of prom come from and was this type of success anticipated or came as a surprise?

Will the ritual and idea of Prom ever die down or even be erased?

Why do people prepare for the unexpected? How do you prepare for the unexpected?

How did society manipulate teenagers that Prom night will be magical, similar to what we call a fairytale?

Extra Credit Opportunities - COTD

Visiting the cemetery was something I always dreaded doing. I didn't want to see, nor feel the presence of death. Throughout this unit my mind and thoughts have been altered in a way. At the end of this unit I have gained knowledge which has put my mind at ease about the idea of death. What better way to test this then go visit not one cemetery but two.

The first cemetery I went to visit was St Michael's cemetery which was in Astoria Queens. This cemetery was public but also was a huge cemetery. The mood when i got there was the typical cemetery mood. It was rainy and quiet. While walking around and reading people’s tombstones In a way I felt as if I was being disrespectful. I couldn’t stop thinking about the idea of all the people that where buried under my feet and the idea of walking on their graves. Even though i had this idea in the back of my mind I felt that their loved ones buried them here to be remembered. I came to this conclusion because of the messages on their tombstones and the flowers, pictures, and decorations around so many of the tombstones.

The next and final cemetery I decided to visit was in downtown manhattan by Brooklyn bridge; Trinity cemetery. Trinity was more of a small cemetery which didn't have more then 150 people buried compared to the thousands buried at St Michael's. The mood here was nothing like St Michael's. One because it was in the middle of a busy community which was drowned out by noises such as car horns and loud chatter. The factor that stood out the most to me were the mood’s of the other people who were visiting the cemetery. People were more at ease, joking, and even small children running and playing around.

After visiting these two cemeteries  I was able to notice that not every cemetery is alike. Not every cemetery is like the one's you see in movies. Cemeteries don’t have to be a place of mourning and grief but can be a place of happiness, acceptance, and remembrance. 

Extra Credit Opportunities - COTD

Harold and Maude was a movie I thought I would never watch. The movie was placed in the 1970’s with a rural setting. The movie isn’t so appealing at first but after the movie is finished you will have better understanding on how valuable life is. The three main character's in this film are; Harold, His mother, and in my opinion the most significant character Maude.

Throughout the Film Harold is not what you call a typical young man. Harold is more focused on death and planning fake suicide attempts. He seems to be very interested in death but in a way doesn’t take as serious as others do. His mother seems not to care much about his fake suicide attempts but wants him to be social so she decides to set up dates for her child. Not only does she try to set up dates for he child but sends him to psychiatrist to try to help which doesn’t seem like its working. The only person who seems to make a difference is a woman who he meets named Maude.

The two main characters Maude and Harold run across each other at a couple of funerals. The two create a very significant relationship because of the interest they share. The two start off as friends, basically Harold’s only friend. This relationship eventually builds into a loving relationship. Maude seems as if she is the only one who really understands Harold and the only one to really talk some sense into him.

This film is based on and surrounded by the idea of death. Harold seems to be very fascinated with it and Maude seems very knowledgable about it. eventually teaching Harold that death is something you cant avoid and something that happens to everyone. Maude’s personality is what not only caught my attention but also Harold’s. Maude’s relationship with Harold plays a big role on his life. Harold transformed from a antisocial and semi ignorant individual to a knowledgable individual who can accept not only life but also death.

HW 56 - Culminating Project Comments

Matt,
Your elevator speech was one of the view I enjoyed and defiantly lead me to reading your Blog. Throughout this whole Unit the question that was tattooed in my mind was; What is death? I enjoyed reading your post because it lead me to more questions and answered some I already had. The evidence you had was great such as the near death experience the woman experienced. Your post lacked a few things but overall was a great post similar to your elevator speech. Keep up the good work.

http://matthewbisweird.blogspot.com/

Max
First of all I enjoyed not only reading your post but watching it. Your decision of not only writing but also recording the experience defiantly was a plus. During the interview with your Mother I noticed that she said ; "anything that might be helpful to another person" This lead em to the conclusion that death might be dreadful and horrible for one person but might be benefiting another person in a different way. She also mentioned that basically she wants her death plans to benefit her children. The video interviews were great. What you can improve on in the future is the depth of your analytical paragraph. By doing this people will be more drawn in and it will help describe the experience better.

http://maxnormalisweird.blogspot.com/

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Max said; 

Javon,

It was very interesting to me that even at such a young age your mom already has her plans for what happens to her when she dies already figured out. Unlike my mom who hasn't even thought about it i think that it was smart of her to plan out her arrangements so early just incase.

Mentor said;

Christina/Mentor

Javon I will like to say generally your post was good. There are things you can build on such as elaborating on the question some. What I mean by that is to create more thorough and in depth questions. By doing so you would have gotten more thorough answers. Even though there were things you could enhance I enjoyed reading your post. Your explanations and reasoning in your analytical paragraphs were good overall and gave me a clear understanding of what your ideas were. Good Job.

Protege Said; 

Brandon/protege

Jay I liked the way you talked about the interview with your grandmother and mother. I found it interesting that our grandmother did not have death plans because of her age. I thought it was good that your mother had plans.

HW 55 - Culminating Project - Care of the Dead

Death is a part of life that I believe we all have to understand and accept even though most people aren't able to do so. The idea of death is usually avoided by most people but death itself can’t be avoided by anyone. Due to this fact, death plans are extremely important. For this cumulating project I decided to interview my mother(38 years old) and my Grandmother(64 years old) about their death plans. 

Interview W/ Mother:

When you think about death what comes to mind?

Heart break and the end of life

Have you ever put much thought into death plans & if so what are your death plans?

Yes, everything is set already. I feel like I had to because I am not the healthiest person in the world and you never know when it will be your time. I have to make sure you kids are ok without me. I will to have a funeral but I refuse to be buried, I want to be cremated.

Do you want to be buried or cremated and why?

I want to be cremated because I don't want my children to have to travel to a cemetery, which is such a depressing place. I want to be with my loved ones even when I'm gone.

What are your main reasons for your death plans?

Life can be taken away from you at any moment and when you have a family that depends on you of it becomes even more important.

Are death plans something you try to avoid or something you want plan to take advantage of?

Defiantly take advantage of, the pain and mourning is enough to handle I don't want my family to go through anymore struggle

Do you plan on following the dominant social practices of funerals, wakes, etc.. Or do you have other things planned?

I am going to do everything traditionally besides burial.

Interview W/Grandmother:

When you think about death what comes to mind?

Sadness, When ever I catch my self thinking about it I try not to.

Have you ever put much thought into death plans & if so what are your death plans?

No I haven't really thought about it alot. I don’t want people to show pity, Im going to die and thats it.

What are your main reasons for your death plans?

I don’t really have any plans. I don’t like to think about dying.

Are death plans something you try to avoid or something you want plan to take advantage of?

I have been avoiding it, like I said before I don't like to think about dying, but I think it’s time to start planning.

Do you plan on following the dominant social practices of funerals, wakes, etc.. Or do you have other things planned?

Funerals, burials, and wakes are the only way’s to do it. I think every other way is wrong, this is the way we have been doing this for hundreds of years, why change now?

After conducting the these two interviews I was able to come along more questions and ideas about the care of the dead as well as death itself. The first interview that included my 38 year mother did not come to a surprise to me. It did not because of the fact that she has been open about her death plans and her thoughts about death. Due to this I feel like I am more at ease with the idea of death even though I believe there is a big time gap between now and the death of my mother. Even though this interview didn't come as a surprise that does not mean it wasn't interesting and insightful. Through this interview I was able to notice something that I have been looking past this whole time. Even when it comes to the death of my mother, the main and first priority is her family. She stated that she didn't want her “family to struggle”. Death plans are not only significant to the person that is dying but equally important to the people who are affected by this death.

When it comes to my Grandmother, death is something I believe is going to come long sooner then we know it. After this interview I was in a way confused but also shocked. My 64 year old grandmother who isn't the one of the healthiest 64 year old woman in the world is hardly thinking about death. The one who is closest to her expiration date is the one who is not planning and the one who pushes the idea away.  The most interesting statement from this interview had to be ; “I don’t want people to show pity, Im going to die and thats it.” This stood out to me because this was an idea that I found very interesting. Most people feel inclined to show pity and feel sorry for someone who is dead even if they have no relation with the person. I believe this is one of the dominant social practices we have today. These interviews were a great help to my understanding of death itself and the care of the dead. I came to the conclusion that; even though some people do accept and have an understanding of death, when it comes to the majority no matter how clear the idea of death is people tend to still avoid and shun it.

HW 53 - Independent Research A

        For my independent research I decided to interview a gravedigger that I met while visiting a cemetery. The interview was short and brief but was able to broaden my ideas and give me a better understanding of the care of the dead.

During this interview I was able to incorporate about six different questions. Even though I asked these many questions, two questions and answers stood out to me. The first question and answer was ; How do you feel knowing you are surrounded my dead people? He responded “I was shakey about it at first but everyone dies one day, so whats the problem with being surrounded by dead people? This response stuck out to me because doesn't follow the dominant social practices. Most people try to reject and deny the fact that everyone dies at one point. This Interview helped me see that not all people try to reject death and think its a horrible thing.

The other question and answer that stuck out to me was; How would you feel about digging a grave for a loved one, such as your parents? He quickly responded “It would be terrible and I don't think I would be able to do it, who wants to bury their parents?” This answer was very interesting because of it’s connection with the first question and answer. It was strange to hear him say he wont be able to do it after he just said “ Everyone dies one day” This statement made me believe he could accept death, but obviously he cant. because of his reaction to the death of his parents. This lead me to the conclusion that death is never as significant as it would be if it was one of your loved ones that died. Accepting and understanding death is more difficult then anyone would believe.