- Men are reluctant to going to the doctor
- Insurance was a significant component to why doctor visits where unprecedented
- Stayed Alive nine months after being diagnosed
- Avoided using the terms “death” and “dying”
- Honeymoon from death, False hope for staying alive
- One of the better parts of the marriage was when Erik was dying because the time spent together
- Very good relationship with children
Death, the one thing promised to us as human beings is the one thing that majority of people try to avoid. Most people cant accept the fact that we all have our expiration date at one point. Losing a loved one is one of the most painful and depressing times of a persons life. The guest speaker explained how as a family they avoided using the words “death” & “dying” One of the reasons for this was to maybe “soften” the situation and make it less stressful. Reminiscing on the joyful times and memories to conceal the depressing and harsh reality. By avoiding the one thing that was promised to Erik this showed the denial that existed between the family and even Erik himself. When death finally arrives one of the most common emotions is denial.
Why is it that death is always the thing to bring families closer together? A usual phrase used in our society is; you don't know what you have until its gone. Most people begin to really appreciate loved ones when they are on the verge of dying. The guest speaker stated that one of the better parts of her marriage was the time she got to care for her husband while he was ill. Seeing the person you promised to spend the rest of your life with dying most be a horrific experience. The feelings became stronger after seeing the condition Erik was in. One of the typical reasons may have been because cherishing the short time left with him seemed like it was the only thing logical.
Personally, one of the hardest things for me to imagine is losing a loved one such as a brother, my father, or mother. I am fully aware that each of them will be taken at one point but i still continue to try to avoid the fact. Why do the majority of people try to avoid death even though it is promised? After experiencing the death of a loved one, what feeling is more common; hatred or sadness? For the the part of our lives where we are healthy we fear and avoid dying and death. When we become ill and it’s clear that there is a good possibility we are close to death we try to fight it. Finally when we are extremely near death we begin to accept.
Javon I thought you touched on some really central points about illness and dying.Denial , from reading your post and thinking back to some of my other post and are guest speaker, It seems to be a key themes in illness and dying. I wonder does it go back to you very point " I am fully aware that each of them will be taken at one point but i still continue to try to avoid the fact". Does this approach of denial and avoidance help sooth the harsh reality of death ? Also another interesting question I would like to bring up quick, are men more likely to avoid and denial death more then women ?
ReplyDeleteI liked the way you analyzed some commonly thought about questions like the concept of "softening the situation". One question that I am curious to hear more about is why do, "Most people begin to really appreciate loved ones when they are on the verge of dying."
ReplyDeleteChristina Ewing : Mentor
ReplyDeleteThe part I enjoyed the most but believe Javon should have elaborated on was"Most people really begin to appreciate loved ones when they are on the verge of dying" I would have liked Javon to explain what he may have done in this situation. Why do we feel the need to make amends with our loved ones when death is upon us? Do we feel like death will be easier if we do this.. who would it be easier for? Why do we give up so easy to be around our loved ones when they are alive and well ? and why do we fight so hard when the end is near? Why do we cherish a photo with our loved ones or an old watch?Are these things more significant then our loved ones? Or do we make them because we believe we have failed our loved ones?