Extra Credit Opportunities - COTD

Harold and Maude was a movie I thought I would never watch. The movie was placed in the 1970’s with a rural setting. The movie isn’t so appealing at first but after the movie is finished you will have better understanding on how valuable life is. The three main character's in this film are; Harold, His mother, and in my opinion the most significant character Maude.

Throughout the Film Harold is not what you call a typical young man. Harold is more focused on death and planning fake suicide attempts. He seems to be very interested in death but in a way doesn’t take as serious as others do. His mother seems not to care much about his fake suicide attempts but wants him to be social so she decides to set up dates for her child. Not only does she try to set up dates for he child but sends him to psychiatrist to try to help which doesn’t seem like its working. The only person who seems to make a difference is a woman who he meets named Maude.

The two main characters Maude and Harold run across each other at a couple of funerals. The two create a very significant relationship because of the interest they share. The two start off as friends, basically Harold’s only friend. This relationship eventually builds into a loving relationship. Maude seems as if she is the only one who really understands Harold and the only one to really talk some sense into him.

This film is based on and surrounded by the idea of death. Harold seems to be very fascinated with it and Maude seems very knowledgable about it. eventually teaching Harold that death is something you cant avoid and something that happens to everyone. Maude’s personality is what not only caught my attention but also Harold’s. Maude’s relationship with Harold plays a big role on his life. Harold transformed from a antisocial and semi ignorant individual to a knowledgable individual who can accept not only life but also death.

HW 56 - Culminating Project Comments

Matt,
Your elevator speech was one of the view I enjoyed and defiantly lead me to reading your Blog. Throughout this whole Unit the question that was tattooed in my mind was; What is death? I enjoyed reading your post because it lead me to more questions and answered some I already had. The evidence you had was great such as the near death experience the woman experienced. Your post lacked a few things but overall was a great post similar to your elevator speech. Keep up the good work.

http://matthewbisweird.blogspot.com/

Max
First of all I enjoyed not only reading your post but watching it. Your decision of not only writing but also recording the experience defiantly was a plus. During the interview with your Mother I noticed that she said ; "anything that might be helpful to another person" This lead em to the conclusion that death might be dreadful and horrible for one person but might be benefiting another person in a different way. She also mentioned that basically she wants her death plans to benefit her children. The video interviews were great. What you can improve on in the future is the depth of your analytical paragraph. By doing this people will be more drawn in and it will help describe the experience better.

http://maxnormalisweird.blogspot.com/

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Max said; 

Javon,

It was very interesting to me that even at such a young age your mom already has her plans for what happens to her when she dies already figured out. Unlike my mom who hasn't even thought about it i think that it was smart of her to plan out her arrangements so early just incase.

Mentor said;

Christina/Mentor

Javon I will like to say generally your post was good. There are things you can build on such as elaborating on the question some. What I mean by that is to create more thorough and in depth questions. By doing so you would have gotten more thorough answers. Even though there were things you could enhance I enjoyed reading your post. Your explanations and reasoning in your analytical paragraphs were good overall and gave me a clear understanding of what your ideas were. Good Job.

Protege Said; 

Brandon/protege

Jay I liked the way you talked about the interview with your grandmother and mother. I found it interesting that our grandmother did not have death plans because of her age. I thought it was good that your mother had plans.

HW 55 - Culminating Project - Care of the Dead

Death is a part of life that I believe we all have to understand and accept even though most people aren't able to do so. The idea of death is usually avoided by most people but death itself can’t be avoided by anyone. Due to this fact, death plans are extremely important. For this cumulating project I decided to interview my mother(38 years old) and my Grandmother(64 years old) about their death plans. 

Interview W/ Mother:

When you think about death what comes to mind?

Heart break and the end of life

Have you ever put much thought into death plans & if so what are your death plans?

Yes, everything is set already. I feel like I had to because I am not the healthiest person in the world and you never know when it will be your time. I have to make sure you kids are ok without me. I will to have a funeral but I refuse to be buried, I want to be cremated.

Do you want to be buried or cremated and why?

I want to be cremated because I don't want my children to have to travel to a cemetery, which is such a depressing place. I want to be with my loved ones even when I'm gone.

What are your main reasons for your death plans?

Life can be taken away from you at any moment and when you have a family that depends on you of it becomes even more important.

Are death plans something you try to avoid or something you want plan to take advantage of?

Defiantly take advantage of, the pain and mourning is enough to handle I don't want my family to go through anymore struggle

Do you plan on following the dominant social practices of funerals, wakes, etc.. Or do you have other things planned?

I am going to do everything traditionally besides burial.

Interview W/Grandmother:

When you think about death what comes to mind?

Sadness, When ever I catch my self thinking about it I try not to.

Have you ever put much thought into death plans & if so what are your death plans?

No I haven't really thought about it alot. I don’t want people to show pity, Im going to die and thats it.

What are your main reasons for your death plans?

I don’t really have any plans. I don’t like to think about dying.

Are death plans something you try to avoid or something you want plan to take advantage of?

I have been avoiding it, like I said before I don't like to think about dying, but I think it’s time to start planning.

Do you plan on following the dominant social practices of funerals, wakes, etc.. Or do you have other things planned?

Funerals, burials, and wakes are the only way’s to do it. I think every other way is wrong, this is the way we have been doing this for hundreds of years, why change now?

After conducting the these two interviews I was able to come along more questions and ideas about the care of the dead as well as death itself. The first interview that included my 38 year mother did not come to a surprise to me. It did not because of the fact that she has been open about her death plans and her thoughts about death. Due to this I feel like I am more at ease with the idea of death even though I believe there is a big time gap between now and the death of my mother. Even though this interview didn't come as a surprise that does not mean it wasn't interesting and insightful. Through this interview I was able to notice something that I have been looking past this whole time. Even when it comes to the death of my mother, the main and first priority is her family. She stated that she didn't want her “family to struggle”. Death plans are not only significant to the person that is dying but equally important to the people who are affected by this death.

When it comes to my Grandmother, death is something I believe is going to come long sooner then we know it. After this interview I was in a way confused but also shocked. My 64 year old grandmother who isn't the one of the healthiest 64 year old woman in the world is hardly thinking about death. The one who is closest to her expiration date is the one who is not planning and the one who pushes the idea away.  The most interesting statement from this interview had to be ; “I don’t want people to show pity, Im going to die and thats it.” This stood out to me because this was an idea that I found very interesting. Most people feel inclined to show pity and feel sorry for someone who is dead even if they have no relation with the person. I believe this is one of the dominant social practices we have today. These interviews were a great help to my understanding of death itself and the care of the dead. I came to the conclusion that; even though some people do accept and have an understanding of death, when it comes to the majority no matter how clear the idea of death is people tend to still avoid and shun it.

HW 53 - Independent Research A

        For my independent research I decided to interview a gravedigger that I met while visiting a cemetery. The interview was short and brief but was able to broaden my ideas and give me a better understanding of the care of the dead.

During this interview I was able to incorporate about six different questions. Even though I asked these many questions, two questions and answers stood out to me. The first question and answer was ; How do you feel knowing you are surrounded my dead people? He responded “I was shakey about it at first but everyone dies one day, so whats the problem with being surrounded by dead people? This response stuck out to me because doesn't follow the dominant social practices. Most people try to reject and deny the fact that everyone dies at one point. This Interview helped me see that not all people try to reject death and think its a horrible thing.

The other question and answer that stuck out to me was; How would you feel about digging a grave for a loved one, such as your parents? He quickly responded “It would be terrible and I don't think I would be able to do it, who wants to bury their parents?” This answer was very interesting because of it’s connection with the first question and answer. It was strange to hear him say he wont be able to do it after he just said “ Everyone dies one day” This statement made me believe he could accept death, but obviously he cant. because of his reaction to the death of his parents. This lead me to the conclusion that death is never as significant as it would be if it was one of your loved ones that died. Accepting and understanding death is more difficult then anyone would believe.

HW 52 - Third Third of the COTD Book

  The life of funeral company employe is more complicated then the normal eye can see. Funeral companies main goal is to gain revenue, to do so they do whatever to please their customers. Afterlife is a significant component of the funeral business because of the fact that most customers believe that there is more to death then someone rotting in the ground. The customers beliefs are not always the same and are not always what we feel are correct but we do what makes them happy and helps our business prosper.

“but the truth is, the non-Jews are more fascinated by this tan the jews. Maybe people are searching for something.”(181)

“This isn't my life.For me its a project.I can walk away.Not so for the families who are stuck with their grief, or even the family undertakers who are stuck with one another.”(205)

“I talked to people who jump walls just so they can see their family”(243)

Curtains by Tom Jokinen was a great read and I wouldn’t mind reading another book written by him. Throughout the book he explained the life of someone who was involved in the funeral business. It was interesting to read about all the different stories he had and it helped me understand “death” more. Afterlife is big part of “death” because of the fact that our society looks to the afterlife for comfort. We believe that there is a better place afterlife. Curtains was similar to one of the books I read in the sick and illness unit; My brother by Jamaica Kincaid, I enjoyed reading both of these books because it was more of a personal experience then facts and important history statistics which made the book a interesting read. After reading this book It helped me understand that as long as people continue to die, the funeral business will continue living on. 

HW 51 - Second Third of COTD Book

               Second part of the book; Curtains even more interesting then the first section of the book. Throughout this 2/3 of Tom Jokinen gives us insights on the life of a person in the funeral industry. Jokinen rigorously describes situations he encountered during different funeral processes. He touched on burial as well as cremation but more thorough about the cremation process. Tom’s experiences were helpful enough to give us insight on how the funeral business functioned. Jokinen helped readers realize, Funeral homes aren’t all the same but one thing they all have income is; revenue is the main goal.

“Since I thought I would have to pick the woman up by her ankles and shake her upside down until the nickels fell out of her tracksuit pockets and her dentures skittered across the floor.” (105)

“But it seemed to me he was doing what the script told him to do; put people at ease by lightening the mood. That was his role. (119)

“I think i would like to be cremated and scattered somewhere nice.” (163)

       I sincerely enjoyed reading this section of the book. I did because of the way the stories were told. I felt like he was being completely honest about every situation. It was interesting that he decided to use humor, I feel he did this to take away from the fact that he has to deal with death and grief on a daily basis. I believe that I would handle these situations the same way because death and grief are things that are almost impossible to ignore. If Jokinen continues to write this way he will continue to draw readers in and keep readers focused and interested in a very controversial topic.

HW 49 - Comments on Best of Your Break HW

Comments on Jasper’s Post:

Jasper I enjoyed reading your post because the questions you decided to ask where questions I was curious about. The different interviews were significant to the post because you were able to get more then one opinion and point of view. The thing that stood out the most to me was how you compared your personal beliefs to the people being interviewed beliefs. Keep up the good work.

Comments on Amanda’s post

Great blogpost Amanda, thanks for making the text bold, defiantly made the post stand out. I enjoyed reading your blogpost. I liked the way you talked about a personal experience with death even though it was a gold fish. This helped show that even something as small as a goldfish can be a big deal when it comes to death. Keep up the good work.

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 Amanda said; Hey Javon,

Firstly I thought it was wise to interview someone from another religious background that way you can obtain an an alternative understanding (based on religion) of the care of the dead. Your second interviewee expressed a more positive side to death in my opinion; i thought he was saying you wont have control when your dead. make sure you take care of your business around your death while your alive so it can easily benefit those around you after your gone. I enjoyed how you threaded your responses to the answers throughout your post.

Jasper said; 

I liked your post because it brought up a lot of aspects about death that I haven't even thought about since starting the unit. Such as the part where you say that people get more respect and “a lot of people who act like they care”.. This made me think about why does death change how everyone thinks about you? I also never thought: is the care of the dead even significant? Does it even matter what you do with the person once they're dead? It made me think a lot.. Good post.